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Build a lean, on-box uptime monitor that goes beyond "is it up?": a minute-by-minute Bash probe logs HTTP and ping latency/availability to JSONL; a Python IsolationForest learns baselines to flag real incidents (slow 200s, drops) and cut alert noise; systemd timers orchestrate runs; optional Slack posts add context; no heavy agents or lock-in; easy install, SLO-driven tuning, quick target additions, and log rotation/troubleshooting included.