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A hands-on guide to AI SLOs: why classic web SLOs fall short (probabilistic quality, elastic costs, data drift, safety) and how to build a Bash-first practice in under an hour with curl, jq, bc, Prometheus + Pushgateway, and Grafana. Includes copy-paste installs, a synthetic probe, PromQL alerts, freshness and acceptance signals, ready-to-use SLO templates, Grafana panels, and common pitfalls to avoid.